"I've been around," she said. "I've seen some stuff. Stuff, you can't even imagine." There was a pause. Then she started to giggle. This turned into all-out laughter, and she looked at me, still with a light in her eyes. She took a deep breath, and captured me, with that look of hers.
"Really, though...it's all true, John. I have seen so many things, over the last couple thousand years. Things that have never made it into any textbook. Things that others have seen, but have died before they could tell of them. Like I said...I've seen some stuff." She still smiled, but there was just the smallest hint of wistfulness, around the corner of her eyes.
I was about to say...something...or grab her hand...or something. Before I could, she looked down at the blanket, we had spread, smoothed out her skirt, and reached for my hand. When she brought her head up, I saw another look. She was far away, for just a moment, and then she was up, and lifting me to my feet.
She whispered, "Dance with me, my love. I love it when we dance." So, we danced, or rather, I danced and she floated. At one point, she put pressed her lips near my ear, and said, "We've done this so many times before, John. So many times. Do you remember? Is this the time, when you remember "us", John?" She was asking me, and she was asking...I don't know. Herself?
"Did I tell you that I was promised this, my love? That I would only have to be without you, for a short time? That you would suffer this dying and forgetting, for only a short while? I have searched for you, so many times, over the last two thousand years. Two thousand years, John. Do you remember any of it? Do you remember me, from before?"
When we first met, at the University coffee shop, I felt that I had known here. I took this as a kind of cosmic sign, that I should be bold, and ask her out. I took it as a sign that I should forget what I believed, about "love at first sight", and go for it, for once in my life.
I remember thinking that I had never felt this way, for any woman, ever before. I found it hard to breathe, and the world was hazy. I felt my blood pumping, and thought I might faint. Then she turned her head, to look right at me, and she smiled. Oh god, that smile. I knew it was for me. I knew it.
I could feel the world spin. I took a deep breath, and another. I felt out of my body, and still she came. I wanted to be near her, and yet, as she became nearer, I felt I might die from whatever was happening to me. By the time, she had reached me, we were in a tunnel. All of my peripheral vision was gone, and I could, quite literally, see only her.
She seemed to see my distress. (Who knows? Maybe everyone could.) I could see the recognition in her eyes, and then...I will never forget this...she put her hand to my cheek, and said, "Sometimes, like now, I find you, and we can have a life...for a while. Sometimes, I arrive too late, and you've moved on. You have already died, to be born elsewhere. I'm so glad I found you."
I remember thinking what a strange thing to say, and at the same time, not strange at all. I remember standing there, with her, for a very long time. Both of us, with tears flowing. It was I, who spoke next. I should say that I heard my voice say, "I have always loved you, my love. The search is over. In this life, will I wake and we will be together. Be patient, love. In a moment, I sleep, but for a little more."
I had felt the author, of those words, rising within me, before they were spoken, and now I felt him retire to somewhere deep within. In that moment, she kissed me. She kissed the speaker of those words. I prayed that the two were the same. I had never wanted something to be more true, than that. I had never felt more alive, more at home, more in danger, than that moment.
I reminded her of that first meeting...my first meeting...and with only a whisper of that voice, asked her to continue being patient. I was waking. I was remembering. Little pieces of memory would float to the surface of my thoughts, and I would run to find her, to tell her of my discovery. I reminded her, and begged her patience, while we still danced.
At some point, we must have retired to our picnic place. We must have fallen asleep, there, in the park, because we were nudged awake by the end of park ranger's flashlight. When he realized that we were not a couple of teenagers, making out, he relaxed, and his manner shifted from stern to helpful. We packed our things, and she giggled at my embarrassment, as the ranger led us back to our car.
Leaving everything in the car, we climbed the stairs, stripped down, and fell into bed. Before we both fell asleep, I asked her, "My love, who am I? Who are we? To each other? To the world? Have I read about us, in books? Have they sung songs about you, about me, about us?" She did not reply. She did, as she always does, shut me up, with a kiss, and then we slept.
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