For each of us, in our human experience, there are moments that feel more profoundly earth-shattering, than others...moments, when the world seems turned on its head, and everything that was known (and comfortable) is no longer known. I have known many moments, like this, in this human experience, and I bless them all...those that felt devastating and those that felt blissful...and I would not change a single one. I love them all, as my creations...reflections of my inner experience. Now is another one of those moments, and it is profoundly life-altering.
For some time, I have been quietly (for the most part) experiencing one of the most profound, and (I'll admit) most challenging, of these world changing moments. I have come to embrace, more fully, my life as a servant, healer, philosopher, messenger, friend...to share what is truth, for me, and let that serve as point or counterpoint, for others to know, more fully, their truth. This is great joy, for me. After 18 years, of preparation, I have said "Yes!" to this "calling", in a way that I have not, previously. I can feel it unfolding within me, and it is incredible.
It is incredible, and more so, because I have had an amazing partner, for over 10 years, who has supported me, in this unfolding. She has been the most perfect partner, I could have imagined, and probably better (one of my favorite affirmations: "I accept this, or something better."...I definitely got the better). I get a little misty-eyed, thinking of the gift of her, in my life. To call her the love of my life would be to sell short, the true depth of my feelings for her. I know, perhaps more than she is aware, of how incredibly blessed I am, by her. Truly.
Before her, I had never known what it was like to know my love as my best friend. Every moment of breakthrough or insight, every triumph and accolade has always been more enjoyable...after sharing it with her. She has been more than supportive. She has encouraged, and when beneficial, has nudged me, to step into this wonderful vocation that I am so blessed to share....even when it became evident that it was slowly taking me away from her, for longer periods of time.
Even when it meant that our lives were beginning to unfold in very different directions, she (very lovingly, and with great generosity) has been my champion. What a gift. In this, as in so many things, she shows herself as my teacher. I know that this has not been easy for her, but we realized, early one, that the strength of our bond was our deep, abiding friendship. She is my best friend, and I am hers. This is the most profound relationship, I have had with any other human being, and I am doing my best to share, with you, my incalculable gratitude for this gift. You will simply have to take my word for it...I love this woman, with every fiber of my being.
I love Danielle Stone. I love her as the love of my life, and I love her as my best friend. We have talked about this, a lot, in the last few months. We have laughed and we have cried, about this love. We have yelled a few times, and apologized a few times. We have held each other, in stunned silence, as we realized that two people can love one another, so well, and have that not be enough to stay together. We love each other so well, that the other feels supported in loving themselves, first...even when that means making decisions that mean the end of our relationship.
We have been doing this for awhile...each of us secretly (and, sometimes, not so secretly) holding out for signs that, maybe, we could compromise our joy, for the sake of staying together. We have had these conversations too...lots of them. Through it all, we have made one thing very clear...to each other, ourselves, family friends, etc...we remain best friends. No matter the sadness, that accompanies the dissolving of such a long relationship (longer than many marriages), we have made a commitment to love each other.
We have committed ourselves to loving and maintaining our soul-deep friendship. She is my best friend. I am hers. In this, we are still partners. As best friends, we are helping each other through all of the moments that most people have to face alone, when ending a relationship. The difference is, that (and I think I speak for both of us, on this) we both really love each other...I know I do. All of the qualities, that attracted me, to her, are still there...along with those qualities, that we all discover, in long relationships. I don't love her any less. If anything, I find myself loving her more.
I could go on and on, but this is enough, for now. I do want to say that, of course, we both have our sad moments, and probably some "what-if" moments, but overall, we both know that this is the loving thing to do. In a very profound way, it is our love, for each other, that is allowing us to transition from one type of relationship, into another, without losing our love (or having to create reasons...consciously or otherwise...to make it easier to "break up"). This means that, during all of it, there has been no pettiness, no bitterness, neither of us being mean or hurtful. We are creating our own model, for how to do this, and it is more than I could have asked for.
One last thing...I am asking friends and family to know that there are no sides, in this. We are each other's best friend, and we have talked, at some length, about asking people to love, without feeling sorry for us, sad for us, or feeling the need to wonder where blame should be placed. There is no blame to be placed...we are best friends who, for a wonderful ten years, were also romantic partners. This is, for me, a glory and a wonder, and I am eternally grateful for the gift of her, in my life...in whatever form that gift may take. How blessed am I? Beyond my ability to measure.
Thank you, all of you who have taken the time to read this long heart song. It feels good to share this part of my unfolding, with all of you. I ask, of you, one last thing, do not feel sorry for us or worry for us. Instead, know us as whole and healthy, excited about life and each other, and opening to more and more of our most fulfilling life. We are doing what best friends do...we are supporting each other, in exploring all sorts of new adventures and opportunities. What a wonderful thing it is, to witness your best friend, shining and celebrating life. I am, truly a blessed man, and you are part of that. Blessings to you. I AM LOVE, and know you as LOVE!
With LOVE,
Patrick
p.s. Look for a follow-up blog, letting you know about some of the new things I am playing with and allowing. Exciting stuff...including more travel (for those of you, who have asked me to come to where you are...for workshops and personal work...its time for us to talk and plan...call me), completing some of my many book projects (including, what one friend calls, "The Pocket Patrick" book), and other fine adventures. I AM LOVE, and know all things as LOVE (including y'all)!
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